halo..im in csc now. mood today is veri calm. perhaps im already immune to everything. Things are not going well for me lately..I try to b strong, i try get over it and tell myself "it's life anyway" but im a human, im stil a teenage girl who haven even reach 20, my inmatured mind, my unsecured self, make me find it difficult and unable to swallow all the sadness and bitterness.
Im afraid if more are to come, i will collapse.

Too many things happened lately. my mood certainly is affected. These few days don realli feel like toking..day dreaming most of the tym, if not, sleeping. Tat's what i do if im realli not in good mood/condition. when there are too many things bothering me, i wil just sleep and keep my mouth shut, cos sleeping can make me not to tink of my troubles at that tym. Ya, tis is my way of avoiding to face the problems. A little of me would want me to get up and face reality , but most part of me prefers that these whole thing has never happened to me b4! I will just keep physco -ing myself that it's just a dream, it has nv happened before i get to my long sleeep.
Avoiding reality? yes, im afraid to face it.

Both my parents are quarrelling non-stop..n finally.....They agreed a divorce. Everything has come to a stop. It about the same matter again...and another new matter came in. My mum finalli gave in to the divorce. My dad has long wanted a divorce, it's only that my mum don wan. I din oppose to their divorce , instead i hope they faster get it done cos i noe there is no solution to salvage this marriage, the longer we drag, the more hurt we got.

I scolded my dad..which i feel veri regret. Too many things happened has made me too temperatural. The divorce thing is not totally his fault..I should have keep quiet and b neutral and let the adults settle themselves. I don wan to b on whose side..and yet im behaving as if im on my mum's side and it hurts my dad alot. Both of them has their stands...totally opposite stands. I respect their decision.

I used to hav a happi family and now it's gone. I have to learn to b independent and overcome difficulties coming in the future. TOo many thing unsettled.....

Xu wei lun died ydae ...it's a shocking case to me..though im not her fan all wad...but she died at such a young age...which i never expect this would happen.....LIfe is so unpredictable...and vulerable.

My head is spinning..I so stressed.

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